Alright here we go, first set of dates, first rounds of drama. This better be good…and by good I mean I want to see some fists of fury.
First individual date goes to Frank. I still think he is pretty cute but is he just wearing the glasses for show, does he wear contacts, inconsistencies clearly annoy me.
So Frank and Ali take off in a pretty awesome classic blue convertible, whatever, I’m not good with cars, I have no idea what it was. Obviously it wasn’t that great of a car because it broke down on them in the middle of the freeway. There are some dramatic shots of them being all “oh no what do we do”…here’s an idea, get the damn production crew surrounding you to give you a ride or call a damn tow. Instead they decide to walk. They head off to Hollywood for some ridiculously staged paparazzi photos and fan sightings.
Back at the house, the guys are all giving Justin hell for lying about being a professional wrestler. As far as I’m concerned that was the one smart thing he did, until he went and told Ali of course.
Back on the date Ali and Frank are talking about Frank and his family and job and whatnot but all I can think about is how he keeps taking his glasses off and putting them back on. I am becoming ridiculously bothered by this. The rest of the date is boring schmoring.
Back at the house Craig M is being a dickhead, also he is wearing what looks to be another pink shirt, this one is plain and he has paired it with a ridiculous hat. He was really razzing on one of the other guys whose name I don’t even know but I’m clearly on mr. unknown’s side.
Next up is the group date. Ali takes 12 of the guys to the beach for a calendar photo shoot. Of course some of the guys get normal everyday trunks and some of them….did not. Several of them were ok with their speedos, several of them….were NOT. Oddly enough the guys in speedos were not the ones who got to have their pictures taken cuddling with Ali. There were to be no boners in this photo shoot.
Sidebar: Is it just me or is Ty from Nashville totally adorable. If I were on this show, I would totally be into him.
At dinner Ty fessed up to being a divorce, which I’m not sure if that was a good move or totally wreckless. The whole Jonathan vs. Craig M debacle is eerily similar to Ali vs. Vienna last season (thanks for pointing that out Brian). I’m pretty sure it isn’t going to end any better for him (Jonathan) than it did for Ali.
Sidebar: Is it like a requirement that if your name is Craig then you are a total dick-face? Seriously, both Craigs are total d-bags or jerkoffs if you want to go with Jonathan’s assessment.
Back at the house Jesse gets the last one on one date before elimination. I don’t have much to say about that other than…umm…he is from my state…
Back at the group date Ty got the rose so he is safe at the rose ceremony.
Jesse’s date begins the parade of * totally realistic* dates, they head off in a private jet to Vegas. They go to a brand new hotel and hang out in the pool, eat weird food that I would never touch. Blah blah blah…boring. I don’t have much else to say besides Ali’s dress was a hot mess, Jesse seems boring, I have no idea who the “special singer” was, oh and Jesse got his rose.
Of course with 17 guys vying for Ali’s attention there is plenty of awkwardness at the cocktail party. Guys with roses are swooping in on guys who have barely had any time with Ali, Craig M and Jonathan are at each others throats, the other Craig is making jabs at other people. Then all hell breaks loose as Craig M found out that the bashing street goes both ways and he has been talked about, he gathers everyone on the couches and calls out “weatherman” and yada yada yada these guys are worse than a bunch of girls, the only difference is the amount of tears.
To wrap things up Ali ends up giving the boot to Tyler, Chris H and Craig M. Considering I had to look up Tyler and Chris I can’t say I’m surprised. Craig M, I will miss your antics, no really I will.