Once again I have found myself staring at a blank screen trying to put into words my feelings at another of Chaser’s milestones. In the days leading up to a “big month” I find myself making mental notes of all the things I want to say and then somehow I lose it.

For some reason I discussed this with Heather again, it went just about as well as it did the last time. See her letter below.

Dear Chase,
You are 15 months old. Holy fuck! That is so old. Where did my little baby go? You look like a man! Also, why the fuck won’t you eat? Or walk? I am a neurotic mom and I can’t deal with you doing things at your own pace.

But I love you.
Mom

She has such a way with words.

Anyways. Here is my go at this:

Chase-face

As it turns out 15 months is just about the perfect age. As crazy as you make me most days and as much as I wish you would learn just a couple of new skills I am laughing more everyday with you. Perhaps it’s the fact that I know that our time with just the two of us is coming to an end soon so I’ve been careful to really enjoy our time together.

Just when I thought you were all done being my baby you have a sudden new fondness for snuggling. We have morning snuggles and we rock at bedtime again. Sometimes during the day you want nothing more than to sit on my lap with your sippy cup and watch cartoons.

There are also days when you seem so grown up that it actually takes my breath away. Your afternoons often consist of playing by yourself in your room with your cartoons playing in the background. I put up the baby gate at your door and you are content for a few hours on your own. (Please note that I check on you frequently and I’ve completely baby-proofed your room, you’ve only strewn baby powder all over ONCE)

By the time your next milestone month comes along you will no longer be an only child. Parts of me wish I had just a little more time for it to be just the two of us. I know it’s going to be hard on you when we bring a new baby home but I promise that you are still just as much my baby and no one could ever take your place. I will always make time for it to be “just the two of us”.

Love Mama