“No he isn’t walking quite yet…I think he could, he’s just not interested”
“He sleeps pretty good…he only wakes up a few times”
“Well he eats sometimes…he’s just a little picky…so he survives on chicken nuggets, what of it”
“He says mama…to everything…sometimes he wave bu-bye”
Lately I feel like these statements have been on constant repeat for me. It feels like people are constantly asking about Chase’s developmental progress, and while I know they aren’t, I feel judged. I see raised eyebrows or hear something in the tone of their reply and I feel judged. Worse than that, I feel like my baby is being judged.
I know that kids hit milestones at different times, I know it’s different for everyone. Developmental time-lines are only an average, but does that mean my toddler is…below average?
I keep telling myself that I have an extremely happy and healthy 14 month old and that’s what counts right? RIGHT? Maybe I should be working on a few of these things with him more but where do I start?
I know I’m not alone in this fear so why is it so hard to talk about?
{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
You’re right, all kids hit milestones in their own time. The walking & talking thing? There’s nothing you can really do about that at all. He’ll get there when he gets there. And as long as he figures out how to walk and say a few words before he turns 2, you’re fine. The eating thing… meh, just keep offering him a variety of foods and eventually he’ll start eating them. Probably. What do I know, my kid has eaten a handful of goldfish crackers and called it dinner.
The sleeping thing, though? I’m not judging AT ALL, because believe me, I only just got Catie to sleep through the night consistently when she was about 2 1/2. But I do worry about you on that one, because pretty soon you’re going to have another baby waking you up in the middle of the night, and that kind of exhaustion suuuucks. So yeah, I would encourage you to look into various methods of sleep training (i.e., there’s “the no-cry sleep solution,” letting him cry it out, dropping him down to 1 nap a day and see if that wears him out enough that he sleeps all night, etc.) and try to nail that sucker down. Because I cannot imagine having a newborn AND a toddler waking me up in the middle of the night. I’m tired on your behalf just thinking about it.
Again: there is absolutely NO JUDGMENT whatsoever in the above opinion. If you can survive happily on interrupted sleep, then by all means, go forth & be merry. I just know I couldn’t do it. This mama needs her 8 hours.
Oh, and the people who DO raise eyebrows and judge you? Eff them.
He is cute as hell, that’s all that matters. Plus, anyone who judges you is obviously an asshole.
I don’t have kids, and I don’t judge.
You’re right on all babies/toddlers are different. He’ll walk/talk when he’s ready!! I don’t have any advice to give, but I do love you and know that it will all work it’s self out.
And I’m with Cindy…EFF all the people out there judging!!! XOXO
Thanks Greis! I’m sure that now that I’ve voiced my concern he’ll just up and walk this week. That’s how it’s been with everything else.
I am typically funny. But I want to be very serious with you.
My mom did not even walk until she was 24 months old. She has a Master’s Degree and sits in the “C” suite at her work. My children did not walk until they were 14 months old. My eight year old was three when he became potty trained (I had to finally bribe him with Match Box cars). My eight year old (my oldest) gets straight A’s in school and they want him to skip a grade.
We’re a smart family, yo (okay, maybe “yo” doesn’t sound so smart).
Your baby is fine. Kids do things in their own time. And I have a theory that the ones that take longer…are just taking it all in.
Hang in there, Sis.
i feel that same pressure. that everyone’s-judging-you let’s-see-what-your-baby-can-do pressure. i hate it. i try to remember that they’re just awesome little people, doing it in their own time. whether or not we worry about it won’t change how fast they walk/talk. i’m trying to be chill.
Thanks Cindy! Sleep is actually the one thing I’m actively working on because I figure that’s as good a place as any to start. I’m hoping to plan it so he is sleeping through the night *just* as the new baby gets here. You know, that way I won’t get used to a full night’s sleep again.
Kel – his cute as hell face is all that saves him somedays : )
I feel you on the sleep judgment. At eight months, Nate has slept through the night maybe four times so far. He’s still getting up at least once a night and I always feel like I’m doing it wrong in the middle of the night, no matter what. I just keep telling myself he’ll do it when he’s ready. Either that or I’ll sleep when I’m dead.
Oh, this drove me crazy! I finally started telling people that if he didn’t get potty trained, give up his pacifier, nap too much, nap too little, not eat this or that—-his wife would handle it. I also would smile and tell people that “well, that is an idea” as they tell me their solutions and inside I would say “bite me”….ok, maybe not that but SHEESH, some people cannot mind their own business! You are doing great!