The Bachelorette, No Longer on the Wings of Love

I have been anxiously awaiting this season of The Bachelorette since the end of last season when it was announced that Ali would be the chosen one. I honestly like her and hope that she finds a decent enough guy.

The opening scenes introducing us to this season’s chosen single soul was full of all the same ridiculous shots of said single hanging out doing totally * normal* things.  At least Ali wasn’t half naked like Jake was in 90% of his. It also seems that there is no cheesy tagline this season, the producers must have seen what fun we re-cappers had with “on the wings of love”. Fun-haters.

Here are my initial impressions of the group of douches guys Ali has to choose from.

I am convinced that these guys are tools:

• Craig from Canada: I think it’s possible that this guy spends twice as much time as I do prepping his hair, McDreamy he is not.  He did however have one of the best lines of the night proclaiming “I’m so glad you aren’t Vienna” as he exited the limo.
• Justin from Canada: Speaking of Vienna, I’m pretty sure I’ve found the male version of her in Justin, more likely he will turn out to be the male Rozlyn, still equally annoying. I’m sure this jackass will be around at least a few episodes if only for the ratings he will bring in. Mr. Rated-R, are you freaking kidding me, The Rock you are not dude.

You guys seem ok but….:

• Kasey from Clovis: I spent most of my time pondering whether or not he was deaf based on the way he spoke but I get the feeling he is going to be like a crazy version of Tenley, much to sweet for my taste.
• Frank from Chicago: I adore his glasses, but he seems a little goofy and quite a bit over the top. I also thought he said he lived with his parents, but then I swear he said he lived in Paris, was I the only one confused by this?
• Kirk from Green Bay: So this guy made Ali a scrapbook of all his…hobbies…I guess. It seemed a little weird but I guess you have to make yourself stand out somehow.
• Hunter from San Antonio: I wanted to hate his little ditty on the Ukulele but honestly it was kind of funny and sweet.
• Roberto from Charleston: After watching some of his audition video I was ready to put him in the Jersey Shore reject category but he turned out to be surprisingly charming during his one on one time.

The remaining rose winners didn’t really leave an impression on me, although I did like the guy from Cape Cod, but was he they guy who just lost his Mother or his Brother. I seriously need to improve my powers of observation.

I have only two observations about the guys that went home.

• Derrick from San Diego: I’m pretty sure you get the dumbass award for telling Ali all about your college given nickname of Shooter. Way to go sport.
• Jay from Rhode Island: I could not stop picturing this guy as a super creepy version of Keanu Reeves and Nicolas Cage with awful hair. What a tool.

Tagged as: Ali, Bachelorette Recap, The Bachelorette