posted on 
I’ve written this post in my head a thousand times over the past few weeks, I had LOTS of witty things to say.
I’ve since forgotten them all.
That’s not entirely true, It’s just that I can only remember the seriously inappropriate things. (Thank you for that Heather)
Asshole Baby is officially going to be a big brother.
In two days I will officially be out of the first trimester. I can’t tell you how much I hope that I will feel that magical change in the second trimester. Since the day I hit 6 weeks I have spent my days praying for Chaser to nap and my evenings running back and forth to the bathroom.
The past two weeks I have at least been physically functioning thanks to a lifesaving tip from Meghan and Heather. Unisom has become my lifeblood.
We won’t discuss my emotional functioning. Suffice it to say I cry at least once a day, and I’m pretty sure I’m losing my mind.
I’m so excited to be having another baby, adding to our family, creating a new life…yada yada yada. However, until this baby stops feeling like a parasite who is trying to rip out my insides, I’m going to just need a place where I can be bitchy and whiny and moany. I sincerely hope that doesn’t offend anyone.
Also I can’t end this post without saying it.
We have a perfect asshole baby, here’s to hoping for a perfect whore baby.
Sigh.
nic @mybottlesup
said:congratulations. i wish you all the best.
[Reply]
on May 14th, 2010 at 5:39 pmDawn
said:oh yay for perfect whore baby!!!!
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on May 14th, 2010 at 5:40 pmMagda
said:Awww Congrats! Hope you start feeling better!
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on May 14th, 2010 at 5:44 pmheather...
said:YAY YAY YAY!
Whore baby FTW!!
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on May 14th, 2010 at 5:48 pmDesiree Fawn
said:Yay! Congrats ^_^
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on May 14th, 2010 at 5:50 pmDesignHER Momma
said:weeeeeeeeeeee! Great news!
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on May 14th, 2010 at 5:52 pmkim
said:Congrats Mama!!! Hope you start feeling better fast. I was always sicker with my girls.
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on May 14th, 2010 at 5:52 pmIssa
said:Congrats. YAY babies. Hope the second trimester is way easier.
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on May 14th, 2010 at 5:52 pmAmanda
said:I am so, so happy for you! Blushing as I bashfully squeal, “Go whore baby!”
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on May 14th, 2010 at 5:53 pmThePeachy1
said:Oh dear lords and ladies, I heard about you and asshole baby from a friend and then heather tweets this link and KAPOW. your here. Many congrats and hope this whacky world spins just the way you want it to. All the best.
[Reply]
on May 14th, 2010 at 5:55 pmLoralee
said:Biggest, biggest congrats!
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on May 14th, 2010 at 5:56 pmMiss Grace
said:OMG! I was JUST thinking last week, I wonder if jenbshaw is preggers?
SQUEEEEEEE
And congrats!
And SQUEEEEEEEEE
[Reply]
on May 14th, 2010 at 6:00 pmdrlori71
said:Congratulations! Hope the rest of the pregnancy is easy.
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on May 14th, 2010 at 6:01 pmRachel ~ Southern Fairytale
said:HUGE monstrous congrats!!!!!! LOVES. congratulations congratulations congratulations! WOO HOO
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on May 14th, 2010 at 6:01 pmrobinbondhus
said:Well congratulations on your baby ,However whore baby and the first ass whole baby? Remember there is a good chance your children will read or find out this is what they were called .I realize these are pet names but these are your children.anyways good luck on your pregnancy hope all goes well .
[Reply]
on May 14th, 2010 at 6:02 pmLisa
said:Yay, congrats. Hope you start feeling better soon. 1st trimesters suck.
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on May 14th, 2010 at 6:07 pmAmazingGreis
said:Yaye!!! Congrats, so excited for you!!!
So, when are you due?
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on May 14th, 2010 at 6:08 pmjenbshaw
said:November 28th, but I will be a scheduled c-section so probably a week before that. Here’s to hoping that the summer FLYS by.
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on May 14th, 2010 at 6:13 pmMeghan (AMomTwoBoys)
said:Whoot! Nutella is so super excited to be getting another little playmate.
HA. A whore playmate. Oh lord, you’re in trouble.
[Reply]
on May 14th, 2010 at 6:16 pmMrs. Flinger
said:HOLYMOLY! Congrats, hon!!!
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on May 14th, 2010 at 6:23 pmMegan (Best of Fates)
said:Congratulations – I hope she’s everything you dream!
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on May 14th, 2010 at 6:33 pmTania - Chicky Chicky Baby
said:Whoohoo! Congratulations!
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on May 14th, 2010 at 6:36 pmAssertagirl Amy
said:So happy for you guys! Chase will be an awesome big brother.
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on May 14th, 2010 at 6:46 pmpgoodness
said:YAY! Congrats!!!
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on May 14th, 2010 at 6:53 pmcindy w
said:YAY YAY YAY!!! That’s such great news! Woot for new babies!
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on May 14th, 2010 at 6:56 pmAllison Zapata
said:CONGRATS!!!
Unisom SAVED me! and so did zofran.
as for the crying, I was on zoloft most of my pregnancy so that helped
XOXO
[Reply]
on May 14th, 2010 at 7:17 pmJess [The Bottle Chronicles]
said:Congrats!!!
By the way, I’m new here and totally died laughing at your nicknames lmao!
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on May 14th, 2010 at 7:39 pmBrittany
said:I call dibs on cuddling whore baby first!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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on May 14th, 2010 at 7:41 pmGemini-Girl
said:Yeahy! Mazal Tov… besides for the puking and stuff!
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on May 14th, 2010 at 8:43 pmtena
said:Here’s hoping my bitch baby and your whore baby will be besties and stop trying to kill us from the inside!
Congrats, dear!
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on May 14th, 2010 at 9:23 pmBecky Mochaface
said:OMG! Congratulations!!!
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on May 14th, 2010 at 10:23 pmOHmommy
said:Yay congrats!
Online pregnancies go by sooooo fast for me.
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on May 14th, 2010 at 11:43 pmMandi Bone
said:Congratulations!!!
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on May 14th, 2010 at 11:49 pmanymommy
said:How amazing!!! Congratulations and may the little “lover” (lol) stop making her (or his) mamma sick very, very soon.
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on May 15th, 2010 at 6:44 pmVDog
said:OMG!!!! CONGRATS!!!
You can call me asshole late bird, jeez. (WTF people, text a girl! lol)
Can’t wait to see that bump.
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on May 15th, 2010 at 11:07 pmMegan, Undomestic Diva
said:HOW DID I MISS THIS? Wow! Congrats, lady. So happy for you!
[Reply]
on June 27th, 2010 at 12:45 pm