This all sounded much better in my head.

I’ve written this post in my head a thousand times over the past few weeks, I had LOTS of witty things to say.

I’ve since forgotten them all.

That’s not entirely true, It’s just that I can only remember the seriously inappropriate things. (Thank you for that Heather)

Asshole Baby is officially going to be a big brother.

In two days I will officially be out of the first trimester. I can’t tell you how much I hope that I will feel that magical change in the second trimester. Since the day I hit 6 weeks I have spent my days praying for Chaser to nap and my evenings running back and forth to the bathroom.

The past two weeks I have at least been physically functioning thanks to a lifesaving tip from Meghan and Heather. Unisom has become my lifeblood.

We won’t discuss my emotional functioning. Suffice it to say I cry at least once a day, and I’m pretty sure I’m losing my mind.

I’m so excited to be having another baby, adding to our family, creating a new life…yada yada yada. However, until this baby stops feeling like a parasite who is trying to rip out my insides, I’m going to just need a place where I can be bitchy and whiny and moany. I sincerely hope that doesn’t offend anyone.

Also I can’t end this post without saying it.

We have a perfect asshole baby, here’s to hoping for a perfect whore baby.

Sigh.